It's Okay To Not Be Okay

 It’s Okay To Not Be Okay

9/10

It's Okay To Not Be Okay

Genre: Episodes: 16 Year: 2020

Romance

Melodrama 

Synopsis:

Kang Tae is a man with an autistic brother, who works in a psychiatric hospital. His life begins to change when he meets Moon Young, a fairytale writer with antisocial personality disorder.

Cast:

Kim Soo Hyun (Moon Kang Tae)

Seo Ye Ji (Ko Moon Young)

Oh Jung Se (Moon Sang Tae)

Park Gyu Young (Nam Joo Ri)

Kim Joo Hoon (Lee Sang In)

Park Jin Joo (Yoo Seung Jae)

Kang Ki Soong (Jo Jae Soo)

Kim Mi Kyung (Kang Soon Duk)

Kim Chang Wan (Oh Ji Wang)

Hang Young Nam (Park Hwang Ja)

General Thoughts:

Why am I like this? Why do I watch great dramas and then procrastinate writing a review for so long that the drama’s details start to fade from my memory? Why? Whyyyyyyy? So this was a good drama. It really and truly was. It’s one of those rare times where I sit down and really feel like I’m watching something that will be remembered years from now as a K-Drama classic.

A memorable, parody-able moment

Whether ‘It’s Okay’ will still be popular and thought of fondly in years to come remains to be seen, but that’s definitely how it felt as I was watching it. It reminded me of other dramas that I loved so completely such as ‘My Love from the Stars’ and ‘Coffee Prince’. There was enough plot going on that the story never felt like it was only centred around a romance (though I’m sure some would argue that it is) and the characters had so much growth and development going on throughout the show’s run. There were a lot of great things going on in this show that contributed to its smooth, sleek, professional feel.

Gah, I really love these three

The directing was really brilliant, and the PD really knew how to maximise the emotional aspects of a scene, whether through darker lighting or longer, lingering shots of our characters. The writing was absolutely brilliant, particularly when it’s only this writer’s second drama (the first being ‘Jugglers’ which was also great, but didn’t have quite the same emotional draw as ‘It’s Okay’). The characters were written with so much depth and complexity, and the way the writer was able to portray so much of their hopes and fears without making them seem bi-polar or sporadic was nothing short of brilliance. The relationships between all the characters, particularly our main three, were so important to the show, and the writer did such a wonderful job at making these relationships deep and layered as well. At first I found Kang Tae and Moon Young’s relationship slightly toxic, and was worried that it was going to portray an unhealthy relationship as something dreamy and romantic, as K-Dramas sometimes do (hellooooo controlling and misogynistic wrist-grab). I was happy to see that as the characters and the relationship developed, Kang Tae and Moon Young actually had this lovely dynamic where they both supported and challenged each other. While Moon Young definitely had some characteristics that could dominate and steamroll other people, I was glad that the writer was able to give Kang Tae enough stubbornness and backbone to not be completely swallowed up by Moon Young’s wants and desires, while also managing to maintain his own apparent soft and submissive nature.

'I want you'- don't we all, babe

Kang Tae’s brother, Sang Tae, was a whole other way of personalising and developing characters. While Moon Young and Kang Tae were both a little out of the ordinary, they were not so different that they seemed abnormal. Autism can be tricky subject to broach, particularly these days when everyone is so ready to be hypercritical of individuals from the societal norm commenting on minorities and marginalised groups. And those with intellectual disabilities are certainly a marginalised group. The writer handled Sang Tae’s character with a lot of tact and did an excellent job at presenting Sang Tae as a whole, complete character all on his own.

Absolute standout

It would have been easy for Sang Tae to only be relevant as ‘Kang Tae’s disabled bother’, so I’m glad the writer put a huge amount of effort into making Sang Tae a relevant, meaningful character of his own accord. I also appreciated that the writer didn’t sugar coat life with autism either. Sang Tae didn’t just have the characteristics and mannerisms of  a younger child, but also demonstrated a whole host of other autistic traits, some which were not exactly easy to live with. Sang Tae often had difficulties with social interactions- even with Kang Tae who knew him the best, and he also had extreme and lengthy emotional reactions to minor things that others did-particularly Kang Tae. There was a good balance of difficult and endearing behaviours in Sang Tae’s character, and I am endlessly glad that he was not simply relegated to ‘simple but delightful’ or ‘simple and difficult’. Apart from our three main leads, not many of the other characters got much in the way of development. Joo Ri’s character was a little all over the place- she was mainly used for comedic effect, but occasionally it seemed like the writer was trying to do something a bit more emotional, only the emotional aspects never really seemed to pay off. While in theory I liked her relationship with Moon Young’s publisher, there just wasn’t enough chemistry on screen to convince me that this was a relationship that made sense. I found them more entertaining when they were butting heads and being comedic than when they had serious discussions.

Not quiiiiite bying it

I’m happy that Joo Ri wasn’t pushed down the path of Snarky Second Lead, but do wish that she had a bit more something going on with her. Towards the end when Joo Ri and Moon Young seemed to be making steps towards a reconciliation and forming a sassy friendship, there were some really nice moments and enjoyable scenes that clicked more emotionally, so I kind of with the drama had focused on that rather than the romance. Similarly Sang In (the publisher) was played more for humour than anything else. Which was fine most of the time. But there is a fine art in giving comedic characters emotional beats, and it again didn’t quite pan out with Sang In. There were moments where his true affection and protectiveness of Moon Young shone through, and that was really nice and could have been potentially capitalised on more. But just like Joo Ri, Sang In's character didn’t really benefit from the forced romantic relationship.

The big family dynamic was nice though

A case in this drama of a comedic character getting solid emotional moments would have to be Jae Soo. He was adorable, he was hilarious, he was heart warming. I think this was particularly helped along by Kang Ki Doong as he ALWAYS gives his funny characters such heart and humour and I ALWAYS love it. His dry, deadpan style of humour is totally my style, and I think it also leaves him slightly more open for those emotional scenes when they do come- because while his previous scenes are still funny, it almost seems like his characters’ humour is being used a shield for the characters’ emotions, rather only a humour tool for the writers to use to evoke laughs.

Oof- my heart

Park Jin Joo has a similar acting style, and this came through here in her character of Seung Jae, but not quite as often or as hard-hitting as Kang Ki Doong's character, Jae Soo. The rest of the side characters didn’t get much in the way of development, but they were enjoyable enough all the same. The patients at the psychiatric hospital weren’t utilised quite as much as I think I would’ve liked, but on the other hand I’m not sure I would have loved this drama as such as I did if we spent significantly less time on the three main characters. When the synopsis and casting first came out for this show I was a little excited to see a K-Drama focusing on mental health. There have been a few K-Dramas I can think of that have done this (‘It’s Okay, That’s Love, 'I Remember You’, ‘Kill Me, Heal Me’), and I was keen to see how far into the rabbit hole this drama would go. The answer to that is ‘not very’, which is a bit of a shame, but the show still pulled together really nicely, and did an amazing job with Sang Tae’s character. The other patients were a little more stereotyped which is a bummer, but I think I was most let down by the avoidance the drama took when looking at Moon Young. In the first handful of episodes Moon Young mentions that she has antisocial personality disorder, and then never brings it up again. Instead, the drama seems to link her strange behaviour and inability to engage in normal relationships to trauma caused by her mother and her mother’s death. Which is fine. Trauma can make for interesting characters (see ‘Come Here and Hug Me’), but I wish that my hopes hadn’t been all caught up by the drama saying that the heroine had a personality disorder that was then widely ignored for the rest of the show’s run.

This show was so bloody cinematic too

All in all I think that this drama did a pretty great job at being appropriately sensitive and appropriately realistic while still remaining enjoyable and entertaining. I really love the english title, and think it is a perfect reflection of the show’s contents and progression. I would have liked it if the Korean title followed suit with the name change, because personally I think sticking with the title ‘Psycho But It’s Okay’ is a bit sh*t, particularly given the stigma around mental health and that none of the main characters were actually psychopaths.

What Was Great:

Cast and Charters:

The heart and soul of this show was for sure the main trio. And they were all just excellent- both the characters themselves and the actors that portrayed them. I have struggled to like Seo Ye Ji in any of her roles in the past that I have seen her in. It’s not that she’s a bad actress- she is a very competent actress, I just never really found myself connecting with her or her characters in the past.

Her in this role is just perfection

Maybe it’s because she’s mostly played pretty vanilla characters previously. Maybe I was just so hurt by ‘Moorim School’ that I found it difficult to unlink her face from those feelings of utter, utter boredom. But here Seo Ye Ji really found her light. She was born to play a sarcastic sass queen. I adored her in this role. It fit her so well and I loved her in every scene she was in. It completely took me by surprise, and I am thrilled by how much I enjoyed her in this role- I hope she goes on to pick more dynamic characters in the future too. Moon Young was a character that seems like she should have been hard to like, but that wasn’t the case at all.

I wonder what it's like to be so physically flawless

Her straightforwardness and bluntness made her fun and enjoyable, even though at times she could be very selfish. I loved how Moon Young was basically just how a regular person would be if they didn’t have a filter. Her statements about Kang Tae being good looking were hilarious and on-point, and these added bits of humour certainly helped in adding warmth to a character that was quite cool and aloof. I think what worked well for Moon Young is that even though the things she said and did could seem thoughtless, she was usually very honest, and didn’t often come from a place of maliciousness. Her bluntness was her being honest about her feelings, even if she didn’t understand others’ feelings or they couldn’t understand hers, so I think that made it easier to forgive her when she appeared self-centred and controlling. Kang Tae’s character was almost the complete opposite, where he was more about holding back- he held back his thoughts, his feelings and his wants as a way to please those around him and not cause waves or unnecessary attention. What Kim Soo Hyun did so well in this role was that he was really able to express Kang Tae’s inner desires, even when Kang Tae was being stoic and closed off. His face can show such great minor changes in expression that can really reflect his character’s inner workings, and that was so crucial for a character like Kang Tae where there is a lot going on beneath the surface. Kim Soo Hyun also played the scenes perfectly where Kang Tae was finally breaking out of his shell and starting to live for himself- he gave off such a feeling of relief, excitement and fear all at once, and it was just so lovely watching this character finally start to live for himself.

And boy did he start living

Kang Tae’s arc was really about learning to let go of this carer role he had built up for himself in his mind and start striking out into the world on his own. I adored that the show didn’t need to completely sever him from Sang Tae in order to do that, and that it took the time to show each of the brothers starting to make small steps towards an individual, independent life while still being able to remain good friends and rely on each other when they needed to. While the two leads were absolutely amazing, what really made the show something special for me was Sang Tae. There was so much complexity to his character and his relationships with those around him.

I didn't expect Sang Tae to be one of my favourite characters of the year but he so was

Because Sang Tae had a view of the world that was so different to most of the people in the audience, it became fascinating just seeing how he viewed and interacted with everyday things around him. Sang Tae wouldn’t be complete without Oh Jung Se being the actor behind him, and what a phenomenal job he did! Oh Jung Se really acted from his head to his toes and absolutely everything about him embodied his character. I was finding myself constantly amazed and awed by just how accurate a representation of autism this character and this actor were being- from the way Sang Tae spoke which was logical and repetitive to Oh Jung Se’s posture and hand movements- it was all just perfection. What really completed how wonderfully written and cast these characters were was the chemistry between these three actors. The romance between Kang Tae and Moon Young was brilliant- while Moon Young became obsessed with Kang Tae quite quickly, it still felt like there was a nice slow burn of them actually getting to know each other and falling for each other. They had amazing chemistry both for their romantic scenes and (perhaps even more so) for their comedic scenes. When I think comedic actors I certainly wouldn’t think Kim Soo Hyung and Seo Ye Ji, but they were brilliant and hilarious together, and I don’t remember laughing this much during a show in quite some time.

Man this show was fun

The chemistry between Kim Soo Hyun and Oh Jung Se was also nothing short of amazing, and their relationship was both so heart warming and heart wrenching all at once. With Sang Tae, I really appreciated that they gave him his own separate relationship with Moon Young also. While the relationship between the brothers was endearing and special, I think it added a lot to the story to have Sang Tae be so close to another person outside of Kang Tae. Having that person be Moon Young was just absolute icing. Seo Ye Ji and Oh Jung Se also had really wonderful comedic timing together, but it was their quieter moments of looking after each other that really hit the sweet spot. One of my favourite moments in the show was Sang Tae stepping in to feed Moon Young after she and Kang Tae fought simply because that was his role as a big brother and he knew no other way to comfort her- it was super sweet and really stood out in the show.

All the moments of Sang Tae acting like a Hyung were just so good

These three characters were so vastly different but they also had a lot of similarities. Their shared stubbornness made for some great scenes, and really helped foster their feeling of family. Even though they didn’t understand each other all the time, all three of them were so determined to at least meet each other half way so that they could stay together, and that was quite special.

Thematic Storytelling:

What I didn’t expect coming into this show was how beautifully thematic it was going to be. When I read that Moon Young was going to be a fairytale author I kind of assumed that they just gave her that job so that they didn’t have to bother about actually explaining why she didn’t have a job that she had to go to during the day, or waste scenes showing the heroine working.

Nothing says fairytale quite like a castle

I was happily surprised when the drama really ran with the idea of Moon Young being a fairytale author and wove that motive into every single episode. Moon Young’s fairytales had a lot of great commentary about how she felt as an individual and were a great way to provide insight into Moon Young’s emotional state, and her history with her mother as well. I liked that the show took the time to make small fairytale details stand out- such as Moon Young’s red high heels, as it contributed to each and every episode feeling like a perfect piece in a well structured set. Another theme that was strong in this drama was the idea of family. While a lot of media touch on the idea that ‘you can make your own family’ it was a particularly strong thread in this drama, particularly when both Kang Tae and Moon Young were picking Sang Tae to be a part of their family over and over again. At first I feared that the show was going to focus on jealousy- with Sang Tae becoming jealous that Moon Young was stealing away his younger brother, so I absolutely loved it when the show instead went the route of Kang Tae asking his brother if he would accept Moon Young into their family. It enforced the idea that Moon Young had a strong relationship with each of the brothers individually, and really made me think that even if she hadn’t gone on to date Kang Tae she still would have been accepted as family due to her close friendship with Sang Tae.

I kind of love when Kang Tae got jealous of how close their friendship was

Memory was another theme that dipped in and out of the drama often, and I quite liked the way the drama explored this through its use of flashbacks and reminiscing. I thought the commentary on memory was poignant and relevant and enjoyed the way our characters came to differing realisations after they heard or remembered something extra about their own past. Seeing as this is a drama about mental illness and mental scars, the drama did a good job at tying in mental wellbeing with our memories- we remember the trauma vividly, but gloss over the happier moments. We can remember second for second how someone else hurt us, but can remain completely oblivious when we are the one who has hurt someone else. There was a lot of great thought and insight in this drama, and it was great to see recurring ideas really be explored and extrapolated as the drama progressed. 

This show was a solid 'How To' on maximising flashback effectiveness

What Wasn’t:

Crummy Mum Reveal:

Moon Young’s Mum was an interesting character for most of the show’s run in the sense that she kind of just…wasn’t even a character. She was an idea, a memory, a bad dream. She was a manifestation of Moon Young’s fear. There was a lot of mystery surrounding Moon Young’s mother and why she and Moon Young had such a tumultuous relationship. She posed a great threat to our couple’s relationship,

Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope

in that her Mum’s previous jealousy and possessiveness of Moon Young clearly sparked a deep fear in her around getting close to other people, which is evident in her treatment of others in her every day life. While she was a phantom living in Moon Young’s mind she was truly frightening, as it is so insanely difficult to fight against something that exists only in your head. Moon Young’s night terrors and sleep paralysis were absolutely bone chilling, and created both distance and closeness between Moon Young and Kang Tae. Distance because there was no way for him to see and combat this ghost directly, and closeness because he was always there to remind Moon Young that she was safe and loved. She was also absolutely terrifying as the butterfly manifestation that terrorised Sang Tae and was the reason the brothers were constantly moving around- because Sang Tae was terrified of being murdered by her also. And that’s some severely scary sh*t. Where the show dropped the ball on Moon Young’s Mum was with the final reveal. It was creepy throughout the show wondering if she was alive out there somewhere, but she really lost a lot of her scare factor when she was finally revealed. While her being Nurse Park was a twist I admit I didn’t see coming, the final showdown between her and the three leads just felt a bit…weak. There’s three of them and one of her, and even with the psychological damage she has inflicted on Moon Young and Sang Tae, that still left one fully functional human to combat her. A tall, strong human no less.

She's so tiny next to Kim Soo Hyun

If the main characters hadn’t all made stupid decisions and split up (seriously I rolled my eyes so hard at that), they would have been able to alert the police and capture Nurse Park no problem. Perhaps it’s the fact that Nurse Park didn’t really do anything that made her lose a lot of her fear factor. She just kind of sang a song and laughed and said mean stuff. For how dramatic she had been set up all drama long, the final conflict was just a bit lame, and not nearly as thrilling as I was wanting.

Like, she was totally dead so how is she not?

I almost wish that the show had left Moon Young’s Mum as a phantom and that it was more time and emotional healing that the three characters needed as opposed to Nurse Park getting arrested and locked up forever. Though I suppose this ending did give us Sang Tae facing his fear and knocking Nurse Park unconscious to protect Moon Young (who he is now calling ‘my dongsaeng’) which was super adorable and super badass. I also literally have no idea how Nurse Park even survived being murdered by Moon Young’s Dad. Like, he pushed her off a balcony and her head cracked open and he then dragged her down into the basement, zipped her in a bag and threw her in the lake. How…how would an unconscious woman even get out of that situation and live? And what was up with the patient that was pretending to be Moon Young’s Mum- why would she do that? Honestly, I kind of thought that the show was going to make Nurse Park into a fan of Moon Young’s Mum’s books as having her be a sasaeng would explain how she knew so much about Moon Young’s family life, and also would have avoided the ‘how did she get out of the bag in the lake’ issue. It also would have left the ghost of Moon Young’s Mum out there still as there would have been no definite answer as to what happened to her. Which would have been mega creepy.  

Recommend?

Yes. There is literally no K-Drama fan I would not recommend this to.

A lovely family indeed